The Trouble With Yoga

Just a few blocks from my house there is a Yoga Studio connected to a family home, conveniently located a short motor-cy ride away. I finally went in to check it out and got a card stating classes were at 6pm Tuesdays through Thursdays for 200 Baht (about $6). The next Thursday I decided to join the class. Upon arrival I see that the addition to the house holding the main office and yoga studio is wide open; windows and doors open to the street. I take off my shoes and enter with a loud "Sawadeeka!" because no one is in sight. I hear a woman yell something in Thai from behind a curtain and because I don't speak Thai I stay mute. Out she comes moments later with a towel wrapped around her head and newly painted toenails. Apparently this office and Yoga studio is also a beauty salon, which I find very convenient. I can sweat a little then get my hair (and possibly nails) done all at the same stop for under $20. She quickly put on her flip flops and went to the front door of the main house. She came back and told me to wait just a moment. Twenty minutes later a woman comes out of the house apologizing because she was on the phone. I ask her if there is class and she tells me no but I can make an appointment for a private lesson. Private lessons sound great, especially since they are still 200 Baht. I make an appointment for 5:00 the following day. The next day I arrive a few minutes early and wait. Then I wait some more. Again, the place is wide open with no one in sight. I call the number on the card that she had circled the previous day, but there is no answer. I keep trying and decide to call the other 7 numbers listed on the card. None of them answer. I call Andy to discuss the matter because I have now been there for 15 minutes. I see the same woman who had a towel on her head the day before move a curtain behind two sliding glass doors. She heard me talking on the phone. I now see that this office/ yoga studio/ beauty salon/ is also a massage parlor. One more point for convenience. She closes the curtain and ignores me. I wait another 15 minutes, try the phone numbers a few more times, and finally leave discouraged. I really want to take Yoga so I decide not to give up. I call on Monday and the woman tells me she tried to call me but I had given her the wrong number. Totally possible since I still do not know my phone number after living here for 10 months. My brain refuses to memorize a phone number that begins with 0. I ask to make an appointment for the next day for my friend Stephanie and me and she agrees.

The studio is absolutely beautiful. It is upstairs, all teak wood, with open windows and high ceiling fans. Two other Thai women are already there so I get a mat and lay it out. Stephanie arrives and gets a mat and lays it next to mine. And then, in perfect Thai style we wait. I think the 6:00 hour class started around 6:20 pm, but it is hard to tell because it ended around 7:45. However, what is more important is what happened during class. We started with a lot of deep breathing which was nice. Then we started getting into stretches and she came around and pushed and pulled at me. There was one woman who had obviously been doing yoga for quite some time. The other three of us were clearly novices.
Okay, try to picture this if you will because being a beginner I do not know the name of the pose. We all got into a squatting position with our heels on the floor and our arms straight, palms flat on the ground, between our knees. Then we were instructed to place our elbows under our knees and lift our feet off the floor. The position resembles a frog with all your weight on your arms and your feet dangling over your elbows. So I get up into the position and all is going well. UNTIL my weight starts to shift. I start to fall forward. Now, there isn't a whole lot you can do when you start to fall and your legs are wrapped around your arms and you are inches off the floor. So, I face planted and kind of rolled out of the frog position. After Stephanie saw me, while laughing, she told the instructor there was no way she was going to try it. We both were laughing so hard. Although the instructor was trying to contain her laughter, she couldn’t. Then when she encouraged me to try it again I looked at her and told her it wasn’t in my best interest to try it again. A few moments later, after most of the laughing had subsided; the experienced Yoga girl was in a head stand and fell straight over flat on her back with a thud. I'm not sure if 2 out of 4 falling in yoga is a good ratio, but it was highly entertaining. During "The Final Relaxation" as much as Stephanie and I tried, we could not subside the giggles. I think I will go back for more next week.