I'm ready for a break...

Dear Nicole:
Why was your class 15 minutes late for the activity assembly today?

We actually waited a while to start so that you can be there.

Thanks

If you don't want to read a rant than I will spare you now. The last two weeks have challenged me more than I think I have ever been challenged as a teacher. I guess I was spoiled with "specialists" at my last school... Here it all goes...brace yourself!

Dear
I’m so sorry about that. One of my trouble students gave Ms. Stephanie the finger today. I took him to talk to Ms. Stephanie while the other students cleaned up and gathered papers. I’m sorry I held up the assembly, I didn’t know if there would be extra time at the end of the day to deal with this and didn’t want him to go home with out being confronted. I have contacted his mother, Ms. Tresa, and Ms. Michelle.

Nicole

The next day went a little like this...

She came into my class and asked which one Daniel was. I told her he was with the counselor. She then asked "How will he make up the work when he is getting pulled out?" HA! That really almost made me laugh! I told her he doesn't complete work when he is in the classroom nor at home. (I also told her I am trying everything I can to get him to complete work and have been working closely with the counselor, psychologist, his mother, and his tutor, but her question was extremely funny to me) She asked if this was the student who pulls out his hair. I said Yes. Then she asked if I had talked to his mother. I told her I email her daily, sometimes twice a day. Then she said, "Have you "invited" her in? and I said I have met with her 5 times in the last 5 months. Then my kids freaked out because it started raining again in my classroom. I told her that yesterday it flooded in my classroom. She asked if I had contacted Mr. Andrew. I said yes, Mr. Andrew and 5 maids were in my room all day yesterday trying to get the water out. We even had a giant swimming pool put in to catch the water flowing from the light fixtures. (This actually isn't an exaggeration; they brought in a pool that was about 3x bigger than a standard kiddie pool.) Why does the admin try to have a clue as to what is going on in the classroom? I was then asked if my principal was aware of the situation. I told her I had talked briefly with her in the beginning of the year and was told, "Well, we can't give up on our kids." Hmmm, really? Why? I thought that's what teachers did. You mean to tell me they wake up in the middle of the night trying to solve their kids' problems? They spend hour after hour making phone calls, writing emails, meeting with co-workers, searching the internet, crying to family, JUST to try to help a kid? I had NO idea. When my principal returns from attending job fairs I will present her with the emails I have saved tracking the correspondences with his mother, his tutor, the counselor, and the psychologist, just to be told he is up for an SST and we will go from there. This is the first year we are administrating testing, but after we get the results there is still no resource or special ed in place. So then what? You have a teacher (not wanting to name any names, but ME) who has 7 special ed kids and 4 ESL, with out any support in place. And on top of that, parents usually refuse testing because they can't accept that their child might need extra help. I tell parents that we all learn in different ways and it is my job to help each student learn to their best ability. Yet, how can I when I don't have the tools to support this statement? One girl has not followed a single written or oral instruction all year. She is not in ESL, she simply cannot take context clues from her peers nor follow one direction at a time. Even her mother-tongue teacher has expressed concern (which BELEIVE me is something big, because in that culture it is often best to label a child "lazy" if they have a learning disability.) I have to teach a lesson and literally give her each direction individually and then sit with her to re-teach the lesson. One- on -one she is better, but her parents refuse to put her in tutoring. This is very typical. I teach a lesson, then try to re-teach it 7 times for my special ed students, meanwhile trying to answer the questions the rest of the students have. I usually only make it to 3-4 before the bell rings and it's time to move onto the next subject, again teaching and re-teaching. I'm beat. I'm putting everything I have into these kids to try to get them to write a complete sentence, follow a direction, or to not be embarrassed when their (undiagnosed) turrets gets away from them. I'm not a special ed teacher. I'm not even trained in special ed. besides what my credential required (which isn't a whole lot). Now tell me if any special ed teacher has a class of 24 with out an aide or at least a pull out program. True, I only have about 7 that require a specialized program, but what about my 4 "ESL"? Or the rest of the 13 that are still ESL but not titled? And what about my above average students? I'm still trying to challenge them, but I'm pulled in too many directions. I've been so down because I don't know if my efforts are being put into the right students...I mean I know that sounds wrong because I have to put my effort into all of them, but how can I? I feel like I am neglecting so much of my class because of these every day struggles with the 7 that need one-on-one. And how can I be one-on-one with 7??? I can't! So I put more effort into the one that is in your face, pulling out hair, screaming out obscenities, or wandering into space with a blank look. And then feel terrible because they ALL need my help.
I'm told by a 4th grade teacher that my class (the fifth grade class as a whole) really challenged him last year and made him wonder if teaching was for him. He also said that the 4th grade class this year has made him realize that it was just a really tough year. Thank the heavens that the class coming up (god willing) is easier. There may be a silver lining after all. How many more months til summer? Oh, and if you haven’t noticed, I’ve completely lost my humor and it makes me even more sad.