Day 5 of 7

Here I am on beautiful Samui Island...not eating...not drinking. Yet, I'm happy!!! It is day 5 of a 7 day fast and I feel good. I am also with a friend which helps tremendously. Each day we wake at 6, walk to the resort (from our far cheaper places) take a detox drink, meditate, take supplements, do yoga, time for another detox drink and colema (don't ask) lay by the pool or on the beach until our next supplements and detox drinks. Either a detox drink or supplements come every 90 min. To add to the busyness of this fast/cleanse, we are (THANKFULLY) allowed 2 coconuts (to replenish electrolytes) 2 soup broths (more electrolytes) one carrot juice (helps the liver with all the work it is doing) and around day 4 we can have "liver flush drinks." Natalie and I were making these "liver flush drinks" at home during our pre-cleanse week. One in the morning and one at night. During this week I also ate 100% raw (I have to pat myself on the back, not having a dehydrator makes this waaaay more challenging). Anyway, these "liver flush drinks" we were making were HORRIBLE! We pounded them down twice a day. After enduring that for week, we tasted our first one yesterday. SO good! They just make it SO much better, and they have much better blenders than us. Anyway, I haven't been hungry and am being healthy about it so I feel good. I'm getting rid of all my toxins (and living in Bangkok, they can build up quick) and it is nice to be calm and positive. The restaurant here is SOOOO good though, so it is hard walking by the kitchen. It is vegetarian and has a raw menu. For our last meal before starting we feasted (appetizers, main course AND dessert) off the raw menu. REALLY good stuff! The lasagna was amazing (not hungry, not hungry, not hungry). Being here I have met some really interesting people. I met a couple from Guadalajara, Mexico who have been here 4 times, and love the fast. They also invited me to dinner at their Italian friend's restaurant in Bangkok who will prepare raw for you (because he eats raw) once you become his friend. I also talked to the meditation guider (not sure what to call him? Sam buo is his name.) who told me of a raw restaurant in Bangkok that has food that is "heavenly." I have already planned a date with Andy upon my return. Now, some of you might be wondering what the heck is going on with me. I'm just trying to get healthier. I don't expect to eat 100% raw and I don't want to. I think anything to the extreme is unhealthy. So, my goal is to eat mostly raw
(70%) most days. I started thinking this way about a month ago and started eating raw. Which is really ironic considering I come from California where this lifestyle begs to be lived. I lost some weight with out noticing, wasn't hungry, and felt good! Then my friend Natalie mentioned she was going to samui to do a cleanse. I was already planning on going to Samui and this idea intrigued me. I wasn't really happy about going to Samui...alone on my vacation. Andy had to work and thought it was better if I don't stay in Bangkok because he would be so busy (I didn't really want to stay in Bangkok either). The thought of lying on a beach day after day, inevitably drinking alone, haunted me. I definitely did not want to be that person. I'm not sure if you have done this before, but drinking alone on vacation is rather depressing. But what else does a twenty-something do while alone surrounded by backpackers, bars, and clubs? The spa was looking better and better. So here I am, on day 5. What a great choice! I've lost weight (I don't like to weigh myself, does anyone? but I can tell.) Before I left, just from simply eating raw, my landlord exclaimed "Wow! You lost weight! Usually foreigners gain!" I told him I had gained and hence the change. Another morning as I was getting ready for "casual day" the day everyone wears jeans, I decided to try the one pair of jeans I brought but had not worn even once because they were too small. They fit! Not perfectly mind you, but were by all means wearable! I was so excited I screamed "They fit!" in joy, waking Andy up. I know slipping into old habits is easy, but I feel like I found the trick that works. I just tell myself I won't limit myself. Which sounds funny, but it works for me. If I don't limit myself, I can eat healthier. I'm not giving up anything. I am looking forward to those grand Bangkok meals, I'm just going to try to not have self hates, knowing that I eat raw the majority of the time. I'm far from perfect (in every aspect of the word HA!) but I'm better. Right now! And that makes me happy!
In another area of my life, my dancing is picking up! I am teaching two back to back dance classes at the other studio on Saturday and then the featured dancer at a show in Bagkok that evening. (If you are not already thinking this let me just affirm that I will be getting back after a week fast to teach two classes and perform two sets in a show that night. Considering I can barely walk to the resort or lift a chair, ok not that bad, I do understand that this is insane).Although I am not getting paid for the show, Aplpe, the owner of the studio, wrote me a nice email stating she has negotiated a voucher for dinner for two at the hotel and will try to do better next time. She is an amazing woman, a lot like Shoshanna. Ambitious, intelligent, and kind. She has talked the owner of this hotel to ALLOW them to dance there once a month for 6 months on Sat. night on a trial basis. After, she will try to negotiate pay. I went last month and the place was packed, people seemed to really like the show. AND the hotel was charging a cover that didn't go to the dancers...lame. Anyway, she is doing everything in her power to start a bellydance community here and I love her for it. She got mad at me when I told her I didn't really care about getting paid, I just wanted to dance. She told me not to talk like that. I know I shouldn't have said that. I had just got to this new country, new city, and I didn't care then, I just wanted to dance! I went from dancing for free for so many years working up to one of the highest paid dancing (bellydancing)jobs, probably in America (besides the Superstars, who are just a whole different entity anyway)and I actually said I didn't care about getting paid? Dumb! All the money, time, energy I've put into this profession, I SHOULD be getting paid! And I am now! I feel like my career here is just starting and it is easy to find work! Who knew? Enough rambling? Yeah, I haven't eaten for 5 days so I'm not even sure what I have written. Baby Saoirse Bella Iberri-Shea is here and Jude is on his way home! I can't wait to meet them!!!!!!! I really did need this break!!! Time for a detox drink...